Lost.

You can never really know. What will happen. 

It's a funny thing. Love. One minute you can be at the top of the world. Then, the next. You're at the bottom of it. You will be flying; until you crash. And all of these things could happen. In just a space of five minutes.

You'll be sitting there. Thinking that the life you have right now is perfect. You love it. You have the best guy in the world sitting next to you. He is perfect to you. No matter what your friends say. He hasn't got any faults. Well he does but you can get through them better than anyone else can. Because you love him. And you know that he does. But. He doesn't. But you don't know that. See what you don't know is that he hasn't been loving you for 2 months. And he has been lying that he does. He also has found someone that he does like. And has been seeing this person. For a while now. Behind your back. So while you think that everything is all flowers and buttercups. It is actually been a walk through a desert: empty, and pointless. He doesn't know how to tell you, he hasn't been able to for a while. The love you give; isn't given back. So it's wasted. And the evil thing is; you don't know. Until the last minute. The last minute where you noticed the change. You hide it. Like a mask. You've noticed it a lot this month. Your friends have been telling you to talk to him. Especially your best friend. She has been a very good friend. Though she is the one who is to take your boyfriend away from you. And you don't know that.

So he finally says your name in that tone where you know something is going to happen. You're sitting on that bench, watching the sun go down. You reply with a smile, and "yes." He slowly gets to the point where he tells you that he doesn't know what he feels towards you anymore. Your heart sinks like a boat in water. It won't be until the boat hits the bottom until you function in what he is saying. He tells you that he cares for you; doesn't want a bad thing to happen. If you need help; he will be there. And then he finally gets to the point where he says he has to let you go. He says he doesn't want to be with you anymore. You're not the right person for him; but you are for someone else. The boat hits the bottom. 

You sit there. It all repeats in your head. He is still sitting there, looking at you. Waiting for that reaction. That smile. It's gone. Though your face has formed into a confused face. What have you done? Can you make it better? Who is the other girl? He hasn't spoken about another girl. But that's the first question that runs through your head. And the first one you say. "No-one." He says no-one. But can you believe him? After he has been lying about his feelings towards you for the last two months. It's a choice that can only be made by you. Your throat wells up. Your eyes become blind. And you suddenly lose all of that happy energy that you once had. That world that was always sunny, is now raining. You face the sun. You watch it as it folds itself under the sky. You keep your head held high; as that silent tear rolls down your cheek. He notices' this tear, wraps around his arms around you. Your last hug. You know it is, no matter how much he says that it won't be. It will be. You think about all the last things. Your face has been clouded by rain from your eyes. He says he has to go. "Let me walk you home so I know that you are home safe." He takes you home. The road was silent. So were you.

You wake up the next day; the sky is blue but to you, its black. You head out with your jeans and jumper to the place you last sat. You sit there for the whole day. You watch the sun come up. And you watch it go down. In silence. Your world isn't as perfect as you thought it was. You don't want any contact with anyone. So you ignore your texts, your calls, and the knocks on your door. Three months go by and all the texts, calls and knocks have given up. They can't be bothered, because just like you; they gave love, but are not getting anything back. It's wasted. You live your life is a daze. You don't remember anything. But that night. And the loneliness you feel. Everyone is worried. Everyone has lost the sound of your voice. Your best friend, isn't your best friend. And you good friend, is the only one who can stand with you being quiet. Lost. In a daze. She knows that you will come round when you can. She knows you can force a broken heart. You watch him walk around like nothing is wrong. Nothing mattered to him. But he secretly watches you; break in two. And it hurts him to know that is was him that made you like this. The broken heart you have is broken more from the loss of your best friend, many of your friends.

Another two months go by. Your good friend is now your best friend. She has been there for you. And you are grateful. You're grateful for her patience. You're sitting next to her in the classroom. They are talking about their pets. Their animals. Your cat is dying. You haven't told anyone. But one of your friends knows you have an animal. "How is your cat these days?" "She's dying. They say she has a week left. Thats all. It's funny how they can predict how much more life someone can have. Don't you think?" Your best friend looks at you; she smiles. "Hello. Welcome back." You laugh together. It feels good to laugh. You haven't laughed in a long while. Everyone is happy to have you back; but many are not sure they know you anymore. You've changed. You don't like the things you liked then. And now you like the things you hated; and the things you liked you hate. You're different person. Though you like this new person. You know that whatever happens; that person that 'loved' you will now hate you. 

Those five months of silence; has rewarded you a new life. A new start. A second chance. Something that you need. You've gotten over him now. That memory, which was your worst, is now someone else's memory. Because that used to be you. But now it is not. So you have forgotten. You sit on that bench and smile. You smile at the sun. Because the sun will always come up, for a new beginning, a new day. You have that chance; a new beginning, a new day. All you remember now, is the long silence. That long road home. The road that is now, lost.